Today we had an interesting discussion on the topic of post marital woes. The guys in the group who were married recently were recounting their experiences till date. Listening to them – one would feel that life after shaadi for guys is like running like a chicken on a landmine! Some interesting concepts were discussed….
1. Open Password Policy: As you exchange your vows at the sacred alter, you exchange your passwords as well! Now your entire digital life and all that stuff that seemed totally innocuous when you left that trace will come back to haunt you. Your better half (and god help you if she is IT savvy!), will now go to all your online mail accounts and search for ‘key’words (love, sweetheart etc) which have the potential to ‘lock’ you in matrimonial hell! Any names which get thrown up in the search results will then undergo a thorough investigation. If the names arent familiar then god help you. Well, actually….if the names are familiar, then God help you even more! The mail that you had written to her(some other her that is) 4.5 years ago when she was leaving for the US, and having absolutely innocent words ‘will miss you’ will now ‘hit you’ with a force of a Muhammad Ali knockout.
Btw, I shudder to think what would happen if she had access to what your ‘passwords’ were in all those years gone by! J
2. Mobile Mania: This is where you apply Shakeaspare’s gem to heart (a rose by any other name would smell as sweet). This is where Tina becomes T Rangamurthy and Pinky becomes Commander Pasricha in your mobile contact list. Casually mentioning that Rangamurthy is your boss’s boss and the key to your promotion will help immensely…you can actually show her that ‘Rangamurthy’ is calling and head off in another room to discuss about important work related matters!
3. Memory Plus: You might have scored more marks than your wife in school by mugging your way through it. But remember, when it comes to data points relating you and the opposite sex, wifey has infinite memory space (Database disk quota exceeded is one error that she never would get!). When you feel triumphant after giving her ‘attention’ while simultaneously checking out that cute chick, check your emotions. Postpone those victory celebrations. Because precisely after 7 such victories, on some idle Sunday afternoon when you are sitting in the hall on your sofa, relaxing and watching Harry Potter – wifey will emerge from the kitchen armed with data points down to the deviation of your eyeballs and the angle of your neck on each of those 7 occasions. And before you realize it, the rest of the day…and the week…and maybe even the month…is spent in financially strainful ceasefire activities
These came out in a casual conversation…and you almost felt as if it was just scratching the surface types. Because there was consensus on one thing – Before marriage, the guy is indecisive. After marriage, decision ceases to be a parameter for him. Call it mandatory outsourcing. Wifey takes, makes & breaks decisions – you just execute (and get ‘executed!’)
Oh boy! Oh Boy!……
Ha ha ha !! thats why I champion the thought that be single be happy !!
I know the two who are getting prosecuted next month .. poor them. May god save their souls.
When is your no?
Hahah! Very funny and well written!
Just 3?…..Tip of the iceberg! :p
Very interesting!!!
Also in addition you might want to add the “Romance” trigger gets changed to “nagging”!!
this blog of urs popped up in a srch result………
nice blog.. welll written .. and true ..
u just forgot to add one thing ..
wch u will realise .. whn u get married.. tht the same is true for the other sex to…
😛